


Half Unlearned (How to Live)

by thnksfrthwilliam



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Feral Behavior, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Purgatory, Sabriel Minibang, Sam & Gabriel Mini-Bang Challenge, Sam & Gabriel Mini-Bang Challenge 2012, Some thoughts for Sam that could be interpreted as dubcon-ish if you really tried to see it that way, The Destiel is minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thnksfrthwilliam/pseuds/thnksfrthwilliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel return from Purgatory, but they drag up an unexpected (and seriously broken) guest with them. Sam puts on some (figurative) scrubs and gets to work trying to coax Gabriel back to being civil and healthy. It's a long road back to normal for Gabriel and Sam nearly gives up on him more than once. But by the end, countless hours and candy bars and one purple beanbag chair later, Sam is glad he chose to help the archangel. [Season 8 AU, written over the summer before we had any real spoilers for season 8]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half Unlearned (How to Live)

When Sam walked into the motel room he was staying in that week, he was expecting to get some sleep, maybe a quick shower to clean off all the dirt he had accumulated on himself in the past twenty-four hours running through the woods looking for a wendigo (that he had found and killed before it had managed to take a third victim). He wasn’t expecting to see his brother and the angel that he had thought, after over a year of absence, were gone for good. Dean looked up when Sam walked in, giving him a small smile. Sam couldn’t help himself; he was next to Dean in three long strides, nearly picking his brother up in a tight hug.

“Hey Sammy- I missed you too,” Dean managed to choke out, grinning despite himself.

Sam pulled back, wiping his own eyes to stop the tears welling up there, and turned to Cas. The angel held out his hand to shake, but Sam hugged him as well. No matter what had happened, Castiel had helped them more times than a hunter was conditioned to expect of anyone. He had earned his spot as ‘family’. Their heartfelt reunion didn’t last long though. Someone else had come back from Purgatory with them, dragged up from the depths by Castiel himself. If one could call the creature that they took Sam to see a ‘someone’.

“What is it?” Sam asked, perplexed as to why they would ever bring a monster back.

The diminutive creature was covered in dirt, keeping in the shadows of the warehouse Cas had warded for its house for the time being. It growled and hissed like a scared animal. Sam figured it _was_ a scared animal.

“I know he doesn’t look much like he did when you last saw him, Sam. But that is Gabriel. Years alone in purgatory did him no favors. He’s… changed. But I couldn’t leave him there, he’s still my brother,” Cas said, eyes on Gabriel. “I don’t believe it would be wise to bring him back to the motel with you,” he continued, knowing that Sam would ask if they could. “He needs time to adapt to being on Earth again. A small space like that would not bode well with his mindset at the moment.”

Sam nodded, watching Gabriel cower in the corner as well. His small form was still human, now that Sam really looked at him, but he appeared to be worse for the wear and filthy as hell ( _as Purgatory_ Sam’s mind supplied). The archangel’s clothing was tattered and caked with mud, hanging off his vessel in strips; it was hard to tell where the clothes ended and the skin began, both were equally dark with grime. It was heartbreaking. As much as the guy hadn’t been the nicest thing around, he had been powerful and glorious. Seeing him reduced to this, to a dirty creature with fear in his eyes (he barely looked like an archangel anymore, more like a broken human; Sam could relate), stimulated Sam’s innate need to help. He pushed that instinct to the back of his mind for the time being, concern for his brother overshadowing his thoughts about Gabriel. There was much to do before they could deal with the archangel.

The trio returned to the motel room, leaving Gabriel in the warehouse for his own safety. They stopped for fast food on the way on Dean’s insistence ( _I haven’t had a burger in forever_ he had complained). Dean downed three burgers with ease while Sam only poked at a single one. It was difficult to feel hungry when his stomach was knotted with worry. Cas left after a few minutes of watching Dean eat, promising to return later. Dean sighed, grabbing a beer and taking a long sip. The younger Winchester took the opportunity to really look at his brother for the first time that night. He looked exhausted; his skin was pale and the circles beneath his eyes were as purple as a shiner. It was the worst Sam had seen him in years.

“We should talk about this, Dean,” Sam began.

Dean grumbled, taking another swig of beer. He was never one to talk, although as tired as he was he might be willing to spill a few words about the horrors he and Cas had encountered. Sam hoped he would.

“It was… like a nightmare, Sammy. You and me, we’ve been surrounded by vamp packs and too many demons to shake a fist at, but this was- it was so much worse.”

Sam kept quiet, nodding his head every time Dean paused and looked towards him. He didn’t want his brother to stop talking and worried if he said anything that Dean would lose his momentum.

“Cas was a pretty good guardian angel, y’know, but even with him it was still the scariest god damn place I’ve ever seen. Every type of monster we’ve ever hunted and a load we’ve never even seen a hint of in those ancient research books. And they’re _bored_ , Sam. They maim each other for kicks. Fresh meat is something they search out; me and Cas were just a new, weaker target. There’s nowhere to hide either you- you gotta keep running to stay safe. We caught some sleep in caves and crap like that, but it was only a few hours at most before some monster found us again.”

Sam’s imagination ran away from him as Dean kept talking. Demons and werewolves and wendigos and djinn, all in one place with nothing to do but kill. In Sam’s mind, there was no place worse than a place like that.

“It was dark too, darker than any place on earth. Not like Cas could mojo us up some light either, it woulda just made us easier targets. Wouldn’t wish a trip down there on even my worst enemies,” Dean continued, on a roll now. “I feel bad for Gabe, y’know, as much of an asshole as he is. He braved it alone and for a lot longer than me and Cas. I guess being an archangel means he’s a lot better suited for that kinda stuff than a hunter and a nerd angel, but even with his powers I- I’m surprised he was still around for Cas and me to drag back up.”

Dean rubbed his tired eyes with the heel of his hand as his talkative mood wound down to silence again.

“Get some sleep, Dean. You look about a second from passing out,” Sam murmured, nudging Dean towards his bed.

The older hunter stumbled a little before face-planting on the mattress. He was fast asleep before Sam could even say good night.

With his brother well-fed and resting, Sam sighed and sat down with his laptop in hopes of finding some way to help Gabriel. He wasn’t even sure where to start his research, although he was willing to dig through the depths of online archives to find something (he understood, sometimes, why his brother mocked him about his ‘boner for research’ though at this point he didn’t care).

Sam sat for hours doing research, the glow of his laptop screen and his older brother’s snores (which were so comforting after silence for so long) his only company. There was, of course, absolutely no information about how to care for an archangel who had just returned from Purgatory. Sam had expected that much. He rested his head on the rickety table and closed his eyes, racking his brain for anything he could use as a starting point for his search. There was little from his time as a hunter that could be utilized in a situation like this; he was far more versed in the killing of the supernatural rather than the saving. Sam delved as far back as his days at Stanford, nearly falling out of his chair when he remembered some tidbits from his Psych 101 class that Jess had encouraged him to take (bless her for pushing him out of his comfort zone). Feral. It was simply a word. However, the things he recalled from the day they had discussed the term in class had him searching again with a new found enthusiasm. He was disappointed to find that there was no information about feral adults (he wasn’t naïve enough to search for ‘feral archangel’ with any hope at all); all the stories centered around children who had somehow ended up in the wild and lived in nature, becoming less and less human the more time they spent among the animals. He learned little at first, as most of the ‘feral children’ stories were only half-truth (or fabricated entirely). He eventually came across a story that was ‘confirmed’ in a loose sense. It was true as a whole, but a few facts were still debatable. “The Wild Child of Champagne” was her moniker. She was in the wild for ten years before she was discovered and she made a full recovery, though it was a long road back to being civilized again. Sam took solace in that; that with some patience he might be able to help Gabriel get better. He figured he could be patient with the archangel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was wrong. Every time he tried to get near Gabriel, the angel poofed himself to the other side of the room with a growl. No matter how slowly or calmly Sam tried to approach him, the shorter man seemed to perceive him as a threat. Sam must have tried at least twenty times, all to no avail. It was frustrating as hell, not to mention exhausting; the warehouse wasn’t small and Gabriel always seemed to appear in the farthest point from where Sam was. He finally sat down on the floor of the warehouse, against a wall, with his head in his hands. He had to wonder why he was even bothering to help this dick ( _Because he stood up against his own brother for your cause_ a little voice in his head supplied, but even he had to admit that that was only part of the reason). The hunter was about to call it a night. However, when he went to get up he noticed that Gabriel had come closer of his own accord. The angel was sitting only a few yards away from him now, legs crossed and expression curious.  Sam offered a grin and a small wave which spooked the angel, sending him back across the room with a whisper of wings and a snarl. Sam sighed, realizing too late that the smile looked a little too much like an aggressive baring of teeth for an archangel who spent the last few years among vicious monsters. He quickly wiped the expression from his face, replacing it with a neutral one. He stood, brushing a hand back through his hair as he stretched; his joints popped, disagreeing with the position he had been sitting in. He looked over at Gabriel a final time, smiling a little to himself when he saw that the smaller man was watching him leave. Gabe’s expression was still curious rather than terrified and Sam counted that as a blessing. Sam left the warehouse then to allow Gabriel to rest. He figured that that enough progress for the night if he wanted to keep his sanity intact.

As frustrated as Sam was, he returned the next day to make another attempt at calming Gabriel down. He brought a lollipop as a peace offering, leaving it on one side of the warehouse and settling himself across the way from it. The angel made no move to take the offering (or even to leave his corner) for the full two hours Sam was there. He seemed rather uninterested in the colorful candy (which pissed Sam off- he had thought the angel would jump at the opportunity to have some sugar). Fed up with Gabriel’s clear disinterest, Sam left the warehouse, grumbling about stupid angels.

Dean looked up from his taco when Sam got back from the warehouse. Sam pointedly ignored the trench coat that Dean had spread across his pillow (he figured his brother deserved a break from any teasing after what he’d been through).

“Hey. How’s Gabe doing?” he asked around the last bite of his dinner.

“He ignored me the whole time, so I’d say that’s not positive progress,” Sam said, kicking his boots off.

Dean nodded. “He’s not exactly the most cooperative little bastard. Helping Cas get a hold of him down there was like trying to catch a stick of butter, Sammy.”

Sam sighed. “Why should I even bother with him? Maybe just leaving him alone will help him more than my visits.”

Dean shook his head, expression going from relaxed to fearful. “Don’t you dare leave him all alone for too long, Sam. You don’t know what he’s been through. Being alone is why he’s so fucked up in the first place I- I’d be pretty fucked up myself if it weren’t for Cas watching out for me.”

“So you think I should go back?”

Nodding again, Dean threw away his trash. “Yeah. He needs a friend, as stupid as that sounds. He’s a little shit, but he’s a little shit who needs some company to get back to being as annoying as he was before.”

Sam smirked. “Okay, fine. I’ll go back and see him.”

Dean clapped him on the back. “Thata boy, Sammy. Maybe you should bring him a bed or something, it’s probably not so comfy to sleep on the floor.”

Castiel popped in as Dean spoke. “That wouldn’t be wise, Dean. Too much at one time will overwhelm Gabriel. Even more than one person- or one person for more than a short while- would likely cause a backwards slide in any recovery he makes. Keep it simple for now and we’ll see what comes about after he has improved some.”

He nodded at Sam who sighed, wondering why in the world he got the position of babysitter for a broken archangel. Upon seeing the look that Dean gave Cas (like he put the stars in the sky) Sam figured out the reason behind it rather quickly.

When Sam returned to the warehouse a few days later, finally getting over his frustration after the pep talk from Dean and Cas, he was pleased to find that the lollipop wrapper and stick were on the floor in the corner (he hoped that meant the archangel had eaten the candy, rather than destroyed it, but either way, at least there had been acknowledgement). Sam sighed, putting a bottle of water and a few candy bars down on the floor of the warehouse. He looked up to find Gabriel watching him carefully, shoulders hunched in such a way that Sam couldn't help but imagine a pair of wings sheltering the shorter man. Sam held up one of the candy bars- a Crunch bar- hoping that the cheery blue wrapper might help Gabe see that it wasn't a threat, but a peace offering. The archangel settled down, but Sam wasn't sure if it was the candy that did it or the recognition of a familiar face (he hoped for latter, that would indicate actual improvement in Gabriel's condition). Gabe once again didn't move from his spot in the corner while Sam was visiting. The hunter was used to the standoffish nature of the feral angel after a few days of similar encounters though. He left without a word, leaving the water and chocolate near the center of the large room. He knew the angel needed space and time to process everything.

Sam came back the next day with a large beanbag chair that he had found in a secondhand shop downtown. He hoped it might make Gabriel more comfortable without being too much too soon ( _Don’t try to give him everything at once, Sam, he’s still adapting to even having a safe place to sleep at night_ Castiel’s voice, in the back of his head, reminded him). He slipped into the warehouse quietly so as not to alarm the angel. He got the same calculating look as before, as if Gabriel was trying to judge if he was a threat. The hunter gave a small, closed-lip smirk as he set the purple beanbag down on the cement floor. When he looked around the rest of the room, he was pleased to see the water bottle empty and candy wrappers strewn across the floor; the shorter man had accepted his offering. Sam gathered up the trash, Gabriel's eyes never leaving him. The wrappers crinkled as Sam picked them up and he tensed, waiting for the inevitable growl from Gabe at the unexpected noises. He waited a few beats, looking back at Gabriel when all he heard was silence.

The angel was much closer, poking at the beanbag chair curiously. A sound that might have been laughter bubbled out of his throat before he threw himself down on the purple vinyl. Sam smiled to himself as a small cloud of dirt puffed off of Gabriel's skin. Once he got Gabe to stay still and calm in his presence, Sam vowed to help him clean up. For now though, he seemed content to be filthy as he stretched out on the purple bag, limbs hanging off the edges. Sam gathered the rest of the garbage as quietly as he could, leaving another water bottle in its place. He refused to dwell on the happy chirp swore he heard as he slipped outside.

After a week of visits where he stayed for only a few minutes to drop off things to make Gabriel feel more comfortable, he finally stayed for a more extended period of time. He sat against the wall, watching Gabriel eat some of the candy he'd provided. Sam wanted to allow the angel to make the first move if anything happened at all. He waited for over an hour, nearly nodding off, before Gabe came closer to him. Sam peeked up at him, careful to not look aggressive or threatening. Gabriel watched him carefully as Sam pulled out another candy bar and held it out. The shorter man looked at him warily, gingerly plucking the chocolate out of Sam's hand and unwrapping it in a practiced motion (one of the things Gabriel still seemed to be able to do despite his feralness was unwrap chocolate bars with an inhuman speed). His eyes never left Sam as he ate it.

Gabriel hummed happily around the candy, pleased with Sam's offering (the hunter was reminded, fittingly, of a god accepting a sacrifice), and slid closer to him. Gabe stayed within a few feet of him for the remainder of the visit. They didn't speak, both because Sam wasn't sure if Gabriel could and because he didn't want to break the amiable silence anyways. He left after a few hours of simply sitting quietly (and left another bottle of water and an apple rather than more candy this time), but Gabe seemed much more at ease in his presence afterwards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How about we try going all together this time? It might help him adapt to civilization again to see more than just one person at a time. He’s definitely improved since you guys brought him back and I think he’s ready," Sam prompted before leaving for the warehouse the next day.

Dean gave a nod and got up, putting on his boots. "Sure. Couldn't hurt to try."

Cas poofed them into the warehouse as soon as all three of them were ready to leave. Gabriel immediately popped up off of his beanbag chair and scuttled to the corner again, growling at the trio. Frowning, Sam approached him; Gabe had been doing so well before and Sam was worried about the sudden regression.

"Gabe-?" He murmured as he crouched down next to him, hoping to get the angel to calm down.

His expression softened when he looked up at Sam. Dean and Cas followed suit, moving closer to the other pair when they saw that Gabriel had calmed down a bit. The second Gabe caught sight of them again he hissed, curling in on himself more, shoulders hunched once again in a position that suggested huge wings sheltering his body.

"I don't think he likes me and Cas much, Sammy."

Sam frowned. "Shouldn't he know you guys are friends though? You did save him..."

"We remind him of Purgatory. I'm not sure he realized we were trying to help him when we took him in down there. It was a struggle to keep him from running away again. He may still know who we are, deep down. However, now is not the time to be pushing his limits. I believe it would be best if we left, Dean," Cas said, voice forlorn with the thought of his brother not wanting to be in his presence.

Gabriel tucked himself further into the corner as Cas continued speaking.

"Oh fuck it, he’s not gonna get better if we don’t try," Dean mumbled, storming over to Gabriel.

Sam put himself between Gabe and Dean, using his height to his advantage. Dean took a step back, though he didn’t back down. He looked pissed and determined to make Gabriel interact with them.

"Don't. Just leave him alone, Dean. He's scared."

"Yeah, well he should be damn grateful for what me and Cas did for him. He'd still be down there if it wasn't for us," Dean said, voice getting steadily louder and fists clenched at his sides.

Dean’s bottled up emotions from his time spent in Purgatory (in fear, always running) finally came to a head in the form of anger towards Gabriel. Sam took a step closer to Dean to force him to back off.

"Dean!" Sam boomed, height and expression making him look like a monster himself.

Dean stopped, recoiling and turning away. "Fine. You deal with your angel, I'll deal with mine."

He and Castiel left (Sam didn’t acknowledge that Cas had grabbed Dean’s hand to keep him anchored and calm) and Sam turned back to Gabe, hoping to comfort him.

The archangel looked up at him with wide eyes, fear clear in the noises he made. Sam knelt down next to him again, shushing him as one might do for a crying child. It only served to make Gabriel poof away from him one more, burying his face in the beanbag and whimpering. Sam sighed; he had fucked up big time. He knew he had looked ten shades of scary with the way he had just acted and he was sure Gabe had noticed. He was no better than a monster in Gabriel’s eyes at the moment. The angel didn’t have the capacity, in the feral state he was in, to realize that Sam had only been trying to protect him.

There wasn't much he could do now besides give Gabriel some time to calm down.

He left a blanket next to the beanbag and left without a word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam waited a few days to return. He wanted to allow Gabriel to have time to calm down and recover from his feral episode. He spent the next week just visiting for a few minutes to drop off small offerings (he felt like he was back in square one), attempting to show the angel that he simply wanted to help. He stayed for a few hours on his fifth visit that week and Gabe seemed to have calmed down significantly to the point that he would willingly sit next to Sam again. The hunter decided it was time to clean him up; it couldn’t be comfortable for the archangel to be as caked with dirt as he was.

The next time he returned to the warehouse after that, Sam brought a washcloth and a gallon bottle of water and gave a gentle smile when Gabriel immediately poofed himself to his side. The angel regarded the cloth and bottle quizzically, head tilted in a way that was reminiscent of how Castiel used to react to human oddities. Sam slid his own jacket off, hoping Gabriel would follow suit. Copying him, Gabe dropped his filthy jacket to the ground. Sam unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off as well, nodding as Gabe copied him again. He soaked the wash cloth and moved a little closer to Gabriel, showing him the pink rag in his hands. The angel looked at it, then back up at Sam and gave a nod, the first real communication beyond animalistic noises he'd given since coming topside. Smiling, Sam reached out and gently began cleaning the dirt off of Gabriel's face. He frowned at how cool Gabe’s skin felt even through the cloth. Sam had found that angel’s usually burned hot (Lucifer was the exception, but Sam tried not to dwell on him); he had never actually felt Gabriel’s vessel like this before, but he wondered if the lack of heat was a problem. He promised himself that he’d ask Cas the next time he saw him.

Gabriel kept his eyes fixed on Sam as he cleaned, but he allowed the hunter to wipe the dirt off of his skin. The rag got filthy within a half a minute and Sam poured more of the clean water over it to make it usable again. He continued wiping the dirt off of the angel's skin carefully, not wanting to harm or scare him. Relaxed at last, Gabriel closed his eyes briefly, purring as Sam continued to wipe him clean.

Sam cleaned off Gabriel's entire upper body (using more than half a gallon of water in the process), pausing when he got to the waistband of his equally filthy jeans. Golden eyes flew open and looked up at him when he paused. Gabe looked down at where Sam's hands had stopped and scrambled up to his feet. The angel pushed his jeans off and settled back down next to Sam. He looked up at Sam expectantly. Chuckling, Sam continued on, cleaning off the rest of the dirt from Gabe's body, avoiding his crotch (though it was difficult because Gabriel, as Sam really should have guessed, went commando). When Gabe was as clean as he could get with a stolen motel washcloth and a gallon of spring water from the corner drug store, Sam handed him a clean pair of boxers, some jeans and a plaid shirt that Castiel had used his mojo to get. The angel genuinely smiled at that, pulling on the clean clothes. It was the first smile Sam had seen from Gabriel recently and he couldn't help but return the pleasant expression.

He took the cloth and wiped down the purple beanbag so Gabriel would have a clean place to sleep as well. He gathered up the dirty clothes as well, putting them into a plastic shopping bag so he could bring them back to the motel. The shorter man appeared next to him with the sound of rustling feathers and Sam found himself wondering if Gabriel's wings were as dirty as the rest of him had been. About to ask, Sam rethought his plan- if he was ever going to get Gabe to speak, it should start with something less personal and complicated than his wings. He sighed, putting a sandwich down on the beanbag with another bottle of water, in case Gabriel actually got hungry. Before he knew what was happening, a pair of strong arms were wrapped around him in a hug. No words were exchanged, but Gabe's grin was enough of a thank you.

Cas gave Sam a serene smile when the hunter came back from cleaning Gabriel up.

"Hello, Sam. How is my brother?"

Sam smiled, shrugging a little. "He's- he’s getting better. He’s clean now, at least."

Cas nodded. “His Grace is still tattered from his time in purgatory- there are creatures down there that can cause extensive damage to an angel, even one as powerful as Gabriel."

Sam nodded; Castiel continued. "Hopefully his Grace will begin to restore itself if he just rests."

Sam's forehead creased with concern and Cas turned another soft expression his way.

"Your love certainly helps him, Sam."

Sam's eyes snapped up to look at Cas. "Love...?"

Cas smirked, an expression Sam knew he had learned from Dean. "I take it you haven't yet admitted that to yourself. I can see your soul, Sam, there is such love there. And even if I couldn't see the physical proof- let's just say even your brother has picked up on your 'big gay crush on an archangel'."

Sam smirked, shaking his head. "I'm not in lo- I don't have a crush on Gabriel, Cas," Sam said, barely able to believe himself as he spoke.

Cas nodded, smirk just a ghost on his lips now. "Of course not, how silly of me,” he said, and the sarcasm dripping from his words left Sam thinking the angel should really spend less time around Dean. “But no matter, your presence will help Gabriel regardless of the feelings you may or may not have for him, of that I’m sure."

Sam nodded, sighing and picking up a book he was going to bring to Gabriel the next day. He hoped the angel would read it, but he at least wanted to see how Gabe would react to it. "Why does he still have his vessel? Wouldn't he have lost that on his way to purgatory?"

The angel nodded, solemn expression replacing his uncharacteristic smirk. "He replicated his vessel once he was down there, I presume. A bare angel's Grace would 'stick out like a sore thumb' in a place so dark. He did it to hide. If he hadn't, we might not have been able to bring him back at all. There would not have been enough left."

Sam nodded again, frowning.; he tried to pretend that he was sickened by the idea of a place so vicious that even an archangel might not survive it, rather than the thought of Gabriel being hurt in that way.

“Why is he so cold though? I thought angels burned hot…” Sam asked, too curious to let it go.

Cas tilted his head in thought. “It’s likely his broken Grace. Without that key part of him at full power, he can’t keep his vessel warm. There are probably many things that he- well, his vessel- will have trouble doing until his Grace is fully restored. However, the best course of action is just to try to rehabilitate him as you have been doing, Sam. His Grace will heal in time and he may remember himself with a familiar face around to keep him company."

The angel patted his shoulder. "Just continue as you have been- I'm sure everything will turn out fine."

Sam’s expression lightened. "Thanks, Cas."

The shorter man nodded and headed off in a murmur of feathers to go take care of Important Angel Business (which Sam knew was simply an excuse to go spend time with Dean, but Sam didn’t mind much; Castiel’s presence was what was keeping Dean as sane as he was). Sam sighed, flipping through the book in his hands.

The quiet in the room was too much for Sam to handle. He took a walk, bringing the bag of Gabriel’s dirty clothes and a handful of quarters with him in hopes of finding a laundromat. He managed to locate one near the second hand store where he had bought the beanbag chair for Gabriel. There were only two other people inside when he entered; the sound of a spin cycle was less lonely than the silence in the motel room though. He headed for one of the washing machines and started a load with just Gabe’s clothes (they were far too dirty to wash with anything else). Sam leaned against a dryer and began reading the book he was going to bring to Gabriel, getting lost in the plot; it had been a long while since he had last read a book for pleasure rather than research and he relished the feeling of it. The laundry seemed to finish far too quickly (he only managed to read forty pages before the washer finished and another fifty past that when the dryer dinged). He put the clean clothes in a fresh plastic bag and walked back to the motel with his book in his free hand.

He fell asleep that night with the novel on his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was back in his own bed by the time Sam woke up the next morning. Sam sighed, not bothering to wake his brother, and then headed out to go see Gabriel again. When he got to the warehouse, he was surprised to not see Gabe in one of his usual spots (sitting in the furthest corner or on top of the beanbag chair). The hunter frowned, looking around for Gabriel. The warehouse was large, but there was really nowhere for the angel to be hiding; there was nothing there to hide behind, it was just a large empty rectangle of a room.

“Gabriel-?” Sam started, wondering if Gabe still remembered his name.

A whoosh of air above him was the only warning Sam got before Gabe landed on him.

“Sammy!” the angel chirped.

Sam was too pleased that Gabriel finally said something to be bothered that the angel had just landed on his back and was currently holding onto him like a kid trying to get a piggyback ride. The taller man dropped the book on the purple makeshift bed and pulled Gabriel’s legs up around his hips to take some of his weight off of the arms wound around Sam’s neck. Gabe seemed content with his position, nuzzling Sam’s hair with a happy coo. He murmured Sam’s name again, repeating it a few times.

“Hey, Gabe…” Sam ventured, keeping his voice quiet to avoid spooking the angel.

Gabriel only sighed happily, playing with Sam’s hair. The hunter smirked and allowed Gabriel to do as he pleased for the time being (that had nothing to do with the fact that Sam loved the feeling of Gabriel’s fingers in his hair, not at all).

Gabriel ended up falling asleep on Sam's back, snoring softly. Sam was glad that the guy had a small vessel, even if it did feel like his bones must be made of lead (such a short man should not be so damn heavy- maybe his wings added weight, Sam wondered). Crouching with his back to the beanbag chair, Sam pried the angel off of himself and dropped him as gently as possible onto the purple vinyl. Gabriel huffed, but he curled up on his side and remained asleep. Sam smiled at how sweet he looked; a truly vicious weapon of the lord, sleeping in a ball like a cat in a sunbeam. He moved the book onto the floor next to Gabriel so the angel wouldn’t harm it (and likewise, so it wouldn’t harm the angel- Sam clearly had his priorities in order regarding reading material). He hefted himself out of the crouch and walked out of the warehouse again to allow Gabriel to get some rest. He hoped the progress Gabe had shown was indicative of a healing Grace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas tagged along the next time, per Sam's request. The hunter wanted an expert eye to tell him if Gabriel's improvements meant his Grace was healing as well. Gabe grinned up at Sam when he walked in.

"Sam!"

"Hey, Gabriel," Sam replied, smiling.

The archangel immediately got on the defensive when Castiel walked in though, growling and getting between Sam and the other angel. After a few moments he thankfully relaxed, recognizing the Grace within the slender vessel. Gabe deflated a bit, but he insisted on remaining between Cas and Sam. The taller angel looked him over, nodding solemnly and looking up at Sam.

"He has improved. The fact that he recognizes me enough to stand down means his Grace is on its way to full power once again. Not so much that you should cease your assistance, but it is significant enough that I can sense it."

Sam gave nod. "Thank you, Cas."

One of Castiel's rare smiles fluttered across his features before disappearing again.

"Perhaps you could sleep with him tonight."

Sam looked at Cas, slack jawed. "What?"

"I could get you a mattress and you could stay the night here in the warehouse to observe Gabriel's sleeping habits. If his Grace is truly 'on the upswing', he should be sleeping less now," the angel said, completely oblivious (or so he would like everyone to believe) to Sam's interpretation of his words.

Sam nodded, running a hand through his hair and giving a lopsided smirk. "Sure- I'll- uh- sleep with Gabriel tonight, I guess."

With a nod Cas mojoed a mattress into existence next to Gabriel's beanbag chair; they were far too close together in Sam's opinion, but that opinion was driven by his desire to not take advantage of Gabe in his current state. They watched Gabriel sit down on the mattress before flopping on his stomach, spread eagled.

"Yes!" the archangel chirped.

Sam had a hard time breathing for a second, unable to stop looking at Gabe's body spread out on the mattress (how was he supposed to think with his upstairs brain when Gabriel's only words so far were 'Sam' and 'Yes'?). Shaking his head to clear his mind of those thoughts, he turned to Cas.

"Are you gonna stay too?"

The angel shook his head. "I have business to attend to with Dean. He is still recovering as well, though he was far better off than Gabriel upon our return. My company seems to keep him grounded as yours does with Gabriel and I am certainly willing to donate my time if it will improve his condition. I would like to hear of your findings when I next see you though," he sighed. "I want my brother's condition to improve as much as you do."

Cas disappeared after a final look at Gabriel, leaving Sam with only a very inviting looking archangel and his own self control.

Sam sighed, sitting down next to Gabriel on the mattress.

"Did you read that book I left for you, Gabe?" Sam asked.

The archangel nodded, face buried in the pillows. "Yes, Sam."

Quirking a smile, Sam settled down onto the mattress on his side, looking at Gabriel. He certainly appeared to be getting better. He still wasn't as clean as he could be, but it was a work in progress. The part that still bothered Sam was how fleeting some of his improvements seemed to be; one moment Gabe could look up at Sam with this clarity that convinced the hunter that he was closer than ever to being completely better, and the next he was cowering in the corner again, every strange noise making him growl and whine. From what Sam could tell, though, the moments of clarity were becoming more prevalent than the truly feral times.

He watched Gabriel for hours. The shorter man fell asleep a few times, but never for longer than a few minutes. He never got up off the mattress though, clearly comfortable with that piece of civilization (yet another indication that his condition was improving). Sam nodded off during his vigil, waking up on his back with an archangel molded to his side. For Gabe's small stature, he certainly had some invasive limbs; there was a leg slung over one of Sam's own and jammed between both of Sam's, an arm draped over his middle and a head tucked under his chin. The angel was still unnaturally chilly, although he seemed to be slightly warmer than before (Sam wasn’t sure if it was due to a healing Grace or shared body heat, but either way it was a good sign in his mind). Sam smiled, dropping a kiss to Gabe's hair without a second thought; it just felt like the natural progression with Gabriel. The angel huffed a breath of air, shifting in his sleep, and Sam felt a warm, soft weight settle over him. Sam frowned in confusion as he tried to figure out what the invisible shape resting against his chest was. It took him a few moments, but he finally puzzled it out. A wing, he thought, in awe. Gabriel's wing.

After a couple of minutes of pure reverence at the idea of an archangel's wing draped over him, Sam fell asleep again. He was too comfortable to move and he didn't want to disturb Gabriel either. He awoke the next morning to Gabriel's bright amber eyes looking down at him. He was so close that their noses were nearly touching.

"Shit-" he mumbled, slightly shocked at the proximity of Gabe's face, but not enough to fully wake him.

"Morning, Sammy."

Sam smiled. Another word in Gabriel’s so far limited vocabulary. "Hey, Gabe."

Gabriel settled down again, nuzzling Sam’s chest lazily. “Comfy.” The angel hummed tunelessly, just a happy little sound. “Warm.”

And two more. Every new word that the angel uttered was another step towards recovery; even the most mundane term was a reason for Sam to smile.

Chuckling, Sam rubbed Gabe’s back absently. “I’m glad you think so, Gabriel.”

Gabriel purred like a content cat, eyes closing. He nuzzled Sam’s chest again, nearly cooing. Sam smirked, kissing Gabe’s hair with a sigh. He knew they’d have to get up eventually, that he’d have to go back to Dean and Cas and leave Gabriel here for another night alone (he hated to do so, but Gabe needed more time to adapt before being integrated back into sleeping in a real bed, even a shitty motel one). So he figured he should savor the moment of closeness with one of God’s most terrifying (and most cuddly, apparently) weapons.

Castiel poofed in a few hours later, giving another Dean-esque smirk when he saw Sam and Gabriel cuddled up on the mattress.

“Perhaps he should return to the motel room with us. He seems far tamer than before.”

Sam nodded, nudging Gabriel off of him and getting up. He offered a hand and a grin to the archangel.

“C’mon, Gabe.”

Gabriel followed Sam without question, still wary of Cas, but familiar enough with his brother’s Grace to remain calm around him. Dean was a different story. The second Gabe saw the older Winchester again he bristled and snarled, crouching as if preparing to attack. Holding up his hands in surrender, Dean looked to Sam for help. Sam smirked and crouched down next to Gabriel; he rested a hand on the angel’s back and murmured in his ear that Dean was a friend and that Sam would keep Gabe safe from anything that might cause him harm. He told the shorter man that he knew that Dean had been rude the last time Gabe had seen him and that Sam would make him promise to be nicer this time around. Gabriel relaxed and sat down on the floor where he was, smiling up at Sam. The hunter smirked and kissed the angel’s forehead. He thought nothing of the small shows of affection towards Gabe.

“You shacking up with a crazy archangel, Sammy?” Dean chuckled when Sam pressed his lips to the angel’s skin.

Sam rolled his eyes and stood back up to his full height.

“Whatever, don’t answer. He needs a shower- he reeks,” Dean said, hands held up once again, as if to say _and I’m leaving that up to you_.

Sam held a hand out to Gabriel who took it and pulled himself up. He led Gabe to the bathroom and looked him in the eye as he spoke, hoping to get the angel to understand (so far he seemed to take in information far better than he put it out, so Sam wasn’t too worried).

“You okay to take a shower, Gabe?”

He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow at the question; he paused for a moment to formulate his own sentence.

“Will… will you come with me?” Gabriel smiled when he managed to get a whole sentence out despite his uncooperative Grace.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You want me to shower with you?”

Gabriel nodded, smiling up at Sam. “Yeah.”

Smirking, Sam shook his head. “I really don’t think a motel shower is gonna fit two grown men, Gabriel- besides, that’s a little… intimate, don’t you think?”

Gabriel snapped his fingers and grinned. “Fixed!” he chirped.

Sam peeked into the bathroom and laughed; it looked more like a room in a palace than in a shitty side-of-the-highway motel. “You’re unbelievable, Gabriel.”

When Sam laughed Gabriel beamed, grabbing Sam’s hand and dragging him into the bathroom.

Gabe had no qualms with stripping down in front of Sam (the hunter figured he had no qualms with stripping down period; the angel seemed to have little shame). Sam was a little slower to warm up to the idea of showering with another guy, but Gabriel pouted at him as he turned on the water (fumbling for a few minutes before Sam nudged him out of the way and did it for him). Even Sam, master of pouting to get his way, couldn’t stand Gabe’s sad golden eyes. He eventually broke down and stripped as well. Gabriel, as broken as he still was, mustered up a wolf whistle when Sam was completely nude. Blushing, Sam shoved Gabriel into the shower and followed him in. Gabe nearly dropped the soap when he picked it up, motor skills still recovering along with his Grace. Sam smiled, taking the soap from Gabe gently.

“Let me.”

Nodding, Gabe allowed Sam to wash him off, getting his whole vessel clean for the first time in a while. Sam paused at his crotch and Gabriel rolled his eyes, still finding Sam amusing even in his state.

“C’mon Sammy. You know you want to,” Gabriel said with a wink.

Sam shook his head and handed the soap back to Gabe without touching on that intimacy.

“I think you can handle that for now, Gabriel.”

The angel shrugged as if to say _suit yourself_ before clumsily cleaning himself off, hands a bit shaky. Gabriel purred when Sam washed his hair next; that was certainly blackmail material for later on. He pulled the shorter man out of the shower stall when they finished, grabbing one of the (opulent and far-too-nice) towels and handing it to Gabriel. Another pout from the diminutive archangel and Sam found himself drying Gabe off rather than having him do it himself.

Sam helped Gabe get dressed again, steadying the shaky angel as he pulled on a clean set of clothes. Frowning, Sam noted that Gabriel skin was still cool to the touch. He got dressed quickly and went to go dig around in his bag, pulling out his old Stanford sweatshirt; it was nearly too small for him now, but he figured it would help keep Gabriel warm. The shorter man quirked an eyebrow at the ash gray and cardinal red sweatshirt. However, he took the offered garment and slipped it on over his flannel shirt without a word. Sam smiled at the way Gabe cautiously pulled the hood up and slipped his hands into the large single pocket in the front. He looked god damn adorable, swimming in the too-big hoodie.

"T-thank you," Gabriel murmured, his stutter more of surprise and gratefulness than his broken Grace.

Sam softly kissed his chilled brow. "You're welcome."

The shorter man headed back to the main part of the motel room, jumping onto Sam’s bed.

“Oof!” He buried his face in the pillows, sighing happily.

Sam brought him an extra blanket that they had pilfered from the front office of the motel. Gabriel took it with a grin and built himself a little nest on Sam’s bed with the pillows and blankets. He took all the bedclothes off of Dean’s bed as well as half of Sam’s supply of plaid shirts, building up an impressive collection before settling himself down. Gabriel curled up in his nest and buried his nose in one of Sam’s shirts. The hunter rolled his eyes.

“Are you smelling my shirt?”

Gabriel nodded as if there was nothing weird about that, only stumbling over his words a small amount (still on the road to full recovery, getting closer every day). “I- I like the way you smell, kiddo.”

Sam smiled at the pet name rather than calling him out on it. Even little things like that showed that Gabe was getting back to his usual (annoying, though lovable) self. The angel didn’t fall asleep in his nest right away, he just snuggled into the comfort of Sam’s clothing and relaxed.

Dean left the motel with Cas to grab some dinner. They attempted to get Sam and Gabriel to come with them. However, when Sam nudged Gabe to get him out of bed the angel refused and burrowed into his nest even more. Castiel nodded knowingly and pulled Sam and Dean to the side.

“He will likely not want to leave the room for a few days. Gabriel has found a place to call ‘home’, however loosely the term may be applied, and he needs to remain here and acclimate himself. It’s simply another step past the warehouse and he will overcome the anxiety of the outside world in time. For now, though, we must not force him out of this comfort zone.”

The Winchesters nodded and Cas looked to Dean. Castiel walked out with Dean in tow, promising to bring back some food for the other two later. Gabriel looked up at Sam when they were alone and gestured for him to come over. The hunter settled next to him with the book he had brought Gabriel earlier, using one hand to rub Gabe’s back and the other to hold the novel. Gabe ended up snoring next to him, curled up in his little hideaway until the other half of their quad returned.

The four of them sat around the small table to eat dinner. A few words of small talk were passed between Sam and Dean; the angels remained silent, though they exchanged a few Significant Looks (as the Winchesters had learned the hard way, angels could communicate without voicing a single word). Castiel left soon after the food was gone and a couple of beers had been cracked open (two for Dean and one for Sam). The long-necked bottles were drained with little more conversation. The elder Winchester took a shower and Gabriel returned to his nest, still wrapped in Sam’s large sweatshirt.

“Come to bed, Sam,” the angel mumbled into the blankets under him.

Sam was in no state to refuse, curling up beside the archangel, the steady beat of water from the shower lulling them both to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam woke up the next morning to Gabriel cuddled up to his side again. The angel was still wearing the Stanford sweatshirt. The nest he had constructed was strewn across the bed and the floor, plaid shirts and forest green blankets intermingled with off-white pillowcases. Sam buried his nose in the softness of Gabe's butterscotch hair, inhaling the scent of the too-nice shampoo that had come along with the new bathroom the shorter man had snapped up. He didn't dare wake Gabriel up. He didn't want to ruin the moment and he had no idea what sort of mood Gabe might be in (as pleasant as he had been the night before, that was no guarantee of a good mood in the morning, especially from an angel who was still so broken). The archangel eventually woke of his own accord, stretching and smiling up at Sam. There was a bit of a delay as Gabriel formed his thoughts into words.

"Good morning, Sammy."

"Good morning, Gabe," Sam replied, beaming.

The angel leaned up and pressed his lips to Sam's; Sam melted into the kiss before coming back to his senses. He pushed Gabriel away with a little too much force, nearly shoving him off the bed. The hurt in Gabe's eyes was almost too much for Sam.

"Gabe- we can't. I- fuck, I don't wanna take advantage of you like this. You're still not better. I- I can't."

Gabriel looked like a kicked puppy and Sam frowned. "It's not- it's not that I don't want to. I just... not yet. Once Cas gives the okay that your Grace is all healed, we can."

The angel didn't look convinced, slipping out of bed and snapping himself away.

"Fuck."

Sam ran to the warehouse, not bothering to find the keys to the Impala in the mess of the motel room. When he arrived he found the entrance blocked from the inside. He pounded on the door, pleading with Gabriel to just listen to him. The only response he got was a sound like thunder rattling the metal siding of the warehouse, every vibration multiplying the volume exponentially. Sam had half a thought to cover his ears as he fell to the ground in pain.

The sound finally stopped and Sam pulled his hands away from his ears, groaning when he saw the blood. He remembered, vaguely, Dean saying his ears had bled when Cas had tried to use his True Voice to communicate with him. If anything sounded like what Dean had described, the noise Gabe had just made was certainly it. Gabriel had to be seriously emotional to have let his True Voice bleed though; even when he was so far from human he spoke no words, he never used his True Voice (Cas mentioned later that after so many years, Gabriel had learned to keep it locked away, even when he didn’t have full control over anything else). Sam knew he was at fault. However, he didn't have time to dwell on it. He tried to stand and ended up passing out in front of the door of the warehouse. When he came back to consciousness he was inside on the mattress with Gabriel sitting by his side. The angel's expression was one of concern and... he had taken his own shirt off. Sam was briefly confused at Gabe's shirtless state until he saw the blue plaid tossed to the side next to an empty water bottle. It was stained crimson (the sweatshirt, on the other hand, was clean). Sam gave a weak smile and Gabriel snapped out of his motionlessness, wrapping himself around Sam on the bare mattress.

"'M so sorry, Sammy."

Sam rubbed his back. "It's okay, Gabe. I'm sorry for upsetting you earlier. Thank you for cleaning me up."

The angel nodded, clinging to Sam. "Didn't mean to hurt you. Never want to hurt you. There was so much blood-"

"Shhh, it's okay, Gabriel. I'm okay," Sam said with a soft expression. "I'm fine. I can still hear- I can hear you talking to me without having to pause. Are you feeling stronger?"

Another nod. "Y-yeah. I think I kicked my Grace in the ass with my True Voice. It feels- it feels almost whole again."

Sam grinned. "That's great. That's amazing, Gabriel."

Gabriel looked up at him and gave a cautious smile. “I feel so much better, kiddo. So much more like _me._ ” He nuzzled Sam’s chest and Sam could feel the quirk of his lips even through the material of his own shirt.

“C’mon, Gabe. Let’s go back to the motel for now.”

They got up together and Sam made a move to start walking back. Gabriel grabbed his hand and shook his head though. “No. I can fly us back.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you over-exerting yourself. It’s not that far, Gabe, we could walk…”

The angel just shook his head again, pulling Sam close and shooting off towards the motel. Sam felt warmth in the split second it took them to arrive. The same comforting heat he had experience when Gabriel had draped his wing over him while they were sleeping. It was a sensation that Sam was very sure he would never get over and would always crave more of.

Cas looked up at them when they arrived and nodded at Gabriel, a smile playing on his lips.

“You’re much improved, Gabriel. I’d go so far as to say that your Grace is nearly whole again.”

Gabe’s grin was such a nice change from the expressions he’d been wearing in his time topside. The archangel wrapped his arms around his brother and thanked him in hushed tones, promising to be a much better sibling (Sam tried not to eavesdrop, but he heard mentions of Gabriel wanting to be ‘the brother he was before Lucifer fell and everything went to shit’ again). Cas patted his back with only a touch of awkwardness, looking pleased.

“I’m so glad you have made such a full recovery. I had- I had my doubts as to how far you might come and you have disproved every one.”

The shorter angel nodded, expression pleasant yet solemn. “Thank you for bringing me back, little bro. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I didn’t deserve your concern or your help.”

Castiel simply shook his head and gave him a look (Sam chose to interpret it as ‘But you are my brother and I love you no matter what. Even if you completely fuck up, I’m still here for you’; as a brother himself, Sam was rather versed in these sort of looks after conversations like this). Gabriel hugged Cas once more before the dark-haired angel left Sam and Gabe alone again.

The archangel sat down on Sam’s bed and gestured for him to come over. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me too, Sammy. I don’t usually thank people, so cherish this moment,” he said with a playful smirk before replacing it with a more serious expression. “Without you playing nurse for me, I don’t think I would’ve recovered as quickly. Or at all, actually. Really, Sam- thank you.”

Sam couldn’t help the smile he gave after Gabe’s little speech, pulling the angel to his side and holding him close. “Couldn’t have just left you in the state you were in. I know we might not have been the best of friends, Gabe, but that doesn’t mean I hated you. And that definitely doesn’t mean that I would’ve just left you to suffer when there was something I could do about it.”

Sam slid two fingers under Gabriel’s chin and tilted his head up to look at him. The angel’s eyes were wet though his lips were quirked up. Sam ran his thumb along the curve of Gabriel’s jaw.

“Do I get that kiss now, Sammy?” he asked with a wink, though the shy look in his eyes didn’t back up the cockiness.

“I did promise, didn’t I… and Cas did say that your Grace was almost entirely healed,” Sam said, looking entirely too pleased himself as he pretended to consider it.

Gabriel nosed at Sam’s jaw with a sigh and Sam couldn’t resist any longer, pulling the angel up and pressing their lips together. Gabe made a soft sound in the back of his throat and laced his fingers in Sam’s hair, tugging a little to change the angle and deepen the kiss. Sam wrapped his arms around Gabriel and pulled him onto his lap, holding him close as they continued to kiss. Sam pulled away first (Gabriel pouted but conceded that he’d allow Sam to breathe, if only to facilitate more kissing later) and rested his forehead against Gabe’s. Gabriel leaned in for another kiss. However, Sam held fast and kept him from getting at his lips.

“We’re going to take this slow, Gabriel.”

“We are taking this slow, kiddo. I haven’t even grabbed your ass yet. That’s a lot to expect from me,” the angel whined, settling for kissing along Sam’s jaw instead.

“Just promise me, Gabe. We’re taking it slow. I don’t want to rush into things with you. I care too much,” Sam said, still holding Gabriel away from himself.

Gabriel nodded, leaning in and pressing his lips to Sam’s forehead. “I promise, Sam. Can I kiss you now?”

And what response could Sam really have to that other than yes?

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Sabriel minibang challenge this year- at 10,000 words, it's the longest thing I've ever written and completed.  
> There's some wonderful art to go along with the fic here: http://xnerim.livejournal.com/566.html  
> Thank you to all the people who helped me out on this project, especially those who encouraged me when I didn't think I was going to finish it.  
> Look for me on Tumblr - my url there is padaguin


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